Have you ever sat and thought – God has forgotten me. Maybe there isn’t even a God and if there is He feels so far from me. Maybe God just chose to push me to bottom of the list of His worries and He doesn’t care about me any longer.
Have you watched others get almost everything you’ve ever prayed for? Not only that but they get it before you and sometimes without ever even asking. They didn’t have to beg or bribe or cry out they just got it. They didn’t spend hours or months or years crying out to God about it or so it seems to us in the moment.
Have you seen others walk into doors so effortlessly while you have been running and knocking on every door and God keeps saying, “ NOT YET. ” It’s as if everyone else is at a green light and you’re stuck at a red light forever with nowhere to go?!
I got to a place in life where I didn’t even speak my desires or prayer out loud because literally as I did I would see disaster ensue around me. It was like if I spoke about it then something horrible would happen and God would send out a order to halt it!
Those times alone driving where you cry those deep cries from your belly that hurt your throat and make your eyes tired when you’re done. The cries that sometimes make no noise and at other times drown out everything by the hurt coming from your heart and soul. The cry of a broken twenty something.
The cry over not yet making it into your dream career. The cry over not being able to afford or go to college. The cry of wanting more. The cry over not having a baby yet. The cry over not having a spouse yet. The cry over student loans and drowning debt. The cry over ministry in your heart but not seeing it in your midst. The cry of lost friends and family. The cry of loneliness. The cry of health issues. The cry of juggling life on a jam packed plate. The cry of exhaustion.
And you look to the heavens and through tears sometimes you just don’t see Him there. You don’t know where He is or why it seems He isn’t with you or fighting for you.
I want to remind you of something that I learned and that is to invite Him into my situation. To invite Him into the disaster. You know when company comes over unexpected we scramble to clean and quickly scoot things out of the way and so forth. We stand fidgeting and apologizing for our house or dishes or our hair or shirts that rumpled up and our hair that hasn’t been washed in days. You don’t have to do that with the Lord. You just invite Him in and He can get on the floor with you and get in the mess with you.
He hasn’t ever left you or forgotten you. One day you’re going to stand in the middle of the promise land and I promise you’ll realize where He was all of those lonely days.
I felt lost for many years when I couldn’t seem to find my way in relationships and then I found Him on my wedding day knowing He had been with me all along.
I felt like I couldn’t hear Him when I was in the middle of chaos of my mind and searching for fulfillment in all of the world’s pleasure. I found Him in an empty church at an open house for prayer that I didn’t even attend at the back row where I journaled to Him.
I thought He had replaced my dreams with doom and my destiny with destruction I was angry and mad. I heard Him speak to me again after such a long period of silence.
I thought God can’t perform miracles for me there’s no way – I felt too broken and too messed up and too full of prayer requests. I found Him driving through the city when I said I would love to live in one of these lofts and the next week it happened in such a crazy miracle type way.
I have found that my tears through the years collected couldn’t measure up to the joy I’ve had when I feel His presence, when He shows up and when He speaks to me. When I encounter Him. Many times I felt He left me and truly it was me who walked away. I thought He was out to make my life miserable and honestly I had left Him out of my plans so He had no means to help me. When I invited Him into the messiest of situations He came in with me.
I can see His fingerprints all over my life and all throughout my journey. My journey has been very unconventional but I wouldn’t trade it. You know this if you’ve ever traveled you get to know your companions well and quick. I’ve gotten to know the Lord so well through the years and there’s so much more to uncover.
Invite Him in. No matter what it looks like. No matter what mess you’ve created or found yourself in. Invite Him in. Watch Him in the years to come and you’ll see how He moves. How He’s guided you along.
A little glimpse into my meeting place with the Lord – the stairs up to our downtown loft. A place I’ve always wanted to live in a downtown loft He knew that. So small and so unimportant in the grand scheme of things and YET still He blesses. Do you have snapshot in your life of His glory?!